February 17, 2013

  • A willing heart...

    for as long as i can remember i've had just one true wish, just one. sure there are lots of other things i've wished for, but none that have driven me as this one has, and still does. the one wish that I know will never come to pass, the one that there is no hope for, yet, even knowing it, i can't let it go. i'm slipping away again, just like so many times before... withdrawing, isolating, closing doors, boarding things away, locking the hurt away... i know that all i'm doing is locking myself in with all the hurt but i don't care, it's not really any different that living with it.i feel the call for silence, just as strong as before. in a way it's cleansing, washing away all the falsehoods, all the deceptions, the delusions. there is a clarity in the pain, like the arc of a torch, blinding, yet..

    hidden within the bright fire, caught only in the facets of a shattered heart, exist every possible color of life. the problem is that none of us perceive any of them the same. a thousand prisms casting millions of rays, still fail to reach that place where i wait, and wait.

    and weep

     

     

     

    to evoke... is that my purpose, my hope?

    it would be nice to know

    or maybe just to feel, for just a moment