March 31, 2011

  • It's curious how my mind gets directed at certain topics. Most of the time, when I look, I can see some kind of pattern to how I arrive where I do, but sometimes, there seems to be no rhyme or reason behind it. For the last few days it's been one of those times, the idea is there, a firm, unyielding beacon. I do see how it matters, how it does shape me and my life, but how it came to be the focus of my thoughts right now are absent.

    As I said, a curious thing.

    I know I've mostly been silent for the last little while, not so much that there's been anything wrong, but that my focus has been elsewhere. Mostly because of personal issues. Some things simply do take our lives and reshape them, at least for a time. I am glad that I have found my way back.There were times when I wasn't sure I would.

    One of the things I've been pondering is why I continue to write. The fiction is fairly easy to figure out, but I've become less and less inclined to share my personal thoughts as time passes. The questions still come, and the answers still send me searching further and farther abroad, but I'm less convinced that anyone cares to know what I find. I realize that part of that is my own fault, that by being more circumspect I do, in a sense, push some people away. But I also wonder if my journey is at all interesting.

    I guess, that part of it all is how I see communication. Is what I write an effort to be part of a larger world? Or is it just a way to explore the workings of this mass of matter in my skull?

    I have my theories.

    And there is some supporting evidence.

    But I'll just keep that to myself for now.

     

    In the meantime, I'll explore some curious things.